Simon’s uninspiring burger joints of Cambridgeshire (updated frequently)

I recently did a top ‘Top 5 burger joints in Cambridgeshire’ post which jogged my memory of some very unfortunate places I visited during my research.

This is part of our opinion page and it is exactly that…opinions. If you feel that any of the businesses on my list do not deserve to be here then remember that this is a community blog and anyone can contribute, so by all means make your own list with us and I’ll happily publish it. I have always taken the position of ‘consumers first’ and I don’t believe in blindly protecting a business when they are offering a substandard service. With that said, I actually quite like some of the restaurants on this list, I just don’t recommend their burgers.

5. Herbie’s – A14

I am rooting for Herbie’s, I really am! My son loves coming here for the milkshakes and the quirky retro American interior but they try so hard to be American they forget about physics.

Every burger is a sight to behold, loaded to the absolute brim with everything they can possibly fit inside, which makes it collapse and implode. The bun is the very foundation of the burger and holds it all together. If you scrimp on this then it’s like building a house on sand. After eating this, I was basically eating chilli by hand as the bun dissolved into nothing. This is burger 101.

4. Smokeworks – Station Road

What pisses me off about Smokeworks is that I actually love the place. Check out this review I did a while back.

There is so much to love about the venue, with some of the best (locally sourced) beers on tap, a very cool rock/metal interior decorating, a marvellous team who are incredibly hard working and attentive, and a lively Saturday night atmosphere which is seriously lacking in Cambridge…but that’s where it hits you!

This is a place which prides itself on doing top notch BBQ food and pours is heart and soul into everything but the food, which leads to a very ordinary and flavourless result. The food is slightly better than the other food on the list but what annoys me is that it is pretending to be high end so you end up even more disappointed.

Meh!

3. Honest Burger – Cambridge

I mean…it’s ok. It shouldn’t cost £30+ for a burger, chips, and a few drinks though. C’mon, guys! It’s just a bun, mince, and a few potatoes. Aren’t chains supposed to offer better value or something?

2. Hartford Mill – Huntingdon/St Ives

For the record, Hartford Mill does a mean roast dinner and offers a wonderful value dining experience for families. With that said, don’t order the burger. You can expect the same price as a Hungry Horse but with less quality. The bun pretty much disintegrates in your hands and the meat is flavourless and full of gristle. It’s a shame too, as it looks the part.

1. Grab A Burger – Ely

Do you want to be charged for a high end burger comparable to Steak & Honour but end up getting something you could have lazily made at Tesco? Grab A Burger is your best bet! This example was particularly depressing but even with a bit of tomato and greenery it is just an overly bland experience. Characterless.

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